Most people have heard of EMDR by now. They’ve seen it referenced on social media or heard a friend describe following a light with their eyes. And they have questions. Reasonable ones.
Does it actually work? Is it some kind of hypnosis? Will I have to relive the worst moments of my life?
Here’s what EMDR actually looks like in my practice.
The first thing to know is that EMDR doesn’t start with processing. We spend the first few sessions building a foundation. I need to understand your history, not every detail, but enough to know what we’re working with. You need to feel safe enough with me that your nervous system can tolerate the processing. We develop stabilization resources: techniques you can use to ground yourself if things feel overwhelming, both in session and between sessions.
This setup phase isn’t filler. It’s clinically necessary. The quality of the preparation directly affects the quality of the processing.
When we’re ready to process, here’s what a session looks like. We identify a target: a memory, an image, a belief, or a body sensation that’s connected to what you’re struggling with. I’ll ask you to hold it lightly in mind. Then I’ll start the bilateral stimulation, usually by having you follow a light bar with your eyes.
What happens next is hard to predict, and that’s by design. Your brain takes the lead. You might move through images, emotions, body sensations, or seemingly unrelated memories. Some people process quietly. Others talk throughout. Some cry. Some laugh. There’s no right way to do it.
I’ll pause periodically to check in. “What are you noticing now?” That question is the backbone of the process. Your answer tells me where you are and whether we need to adjust anything.
A few things that surprise people:
You don’t have to narrate the trauma. I need a starting point, but the processing doesn’t require you to tell me the whole story. Your brain knows what it needs to process. My job is to keep the process moving and make sure you’re safe.
It doesn’t feel like hypnosis. You’re fully conscious and in control the entire time. You can stop at any moment.
The effects can continue between sessions. In the days after processing, you might notice new connections, vivid dreams, or shifts in how you feel about the memory. This is normal and usually a sign that processing is continuing on its own.
Not everything requires EMDR. Some sessions are conversational. Some are focused on parts work. Some are about sitting with an emotion that needs space. EMDR is one tool, the most powerful one I have for trauma and anxiety, but it’s not the only thing that happens in therapy with me.
If you’re curious about whether EMDR might help with what you’re dealing with, the best next step is a conversation. Schedule a free consultation.